so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
