Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
