I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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