if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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