in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm having to shit out rocks
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