Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize