Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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