So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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