i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
