So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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