last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
