covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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