He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
