I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize