Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
