I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it because I queefed?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
