With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
