I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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