I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
