Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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