i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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