I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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