You work out of a Hotel?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
