HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
not ubering you a puppy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
