She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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