You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize