we're blogging at a bar
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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