I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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