You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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