the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Girls should come with a carfax report
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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