im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
did i just pee glitter
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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