Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
