Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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