ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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