I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
