is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
