A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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