it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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