No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
