her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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