I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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