there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
