There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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