Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
