I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
