I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
