I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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