I hate your face
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
worst night to have a conscience
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he fucked my hip out of place.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize