Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
