Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize