someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
