The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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