wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You are the jesus of drinking
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
