they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
