btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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