whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
