I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
