so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
