All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize