there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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