No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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