tell your sister to shave her snatch
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
