Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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