I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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