He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
