Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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