Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
