We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
