Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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