very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
