Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
