what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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