i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
