i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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